and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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