dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
