Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
These tits shall not be calmed
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
