Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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