The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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