im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
