You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
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He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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