so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
