So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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