I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
