Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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