Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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