I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
