There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Too much gin, very little bucket
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
