talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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