Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
