No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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