They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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