...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
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I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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