Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
