Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___

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  (650): Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___ http://tfl.nu/djlq
  Replies (4) Good night (772) Bad night (1261)
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  (323): View more from California

  Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.

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  (323): Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering. http://tfl.nu/bd5j
  Replies (31) Good night (878) Bad night (3732)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.

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  (214): we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER. http://tfl.nu/9rv5
  Replies (58) Good night (12817) Bad night (1155)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.

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  (401): you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it. http://tfl.nu/ggt5
  Replies (11) Good night (4555) Bad night (1389)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.

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  (250): If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour. http://tfl.nu/xxvi
  Replies (39) Good night (11886) Bad night (1424)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.

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  (630): it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this. http://tfl.nu/3ewp
  Replies (11) Good night (4220) Bad night (1317)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you

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  (740): I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you http://tfl.nu/cn0s
  Replies (19) Good night (2885) Bad night (1779)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?

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  (541): Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night? http://tfl.nu/53hk
  Replies (7) Good night (3898) Bad night (963)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.

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  (303): Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential. http://tfl.nu/x59i
  Replies (6) Good night (1926) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much

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  (410): I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much http://tfl.nu/fm3j
  Replies (9) Good night (553) Bad night (2372)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.

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  (386): I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone. http://tfl.nu/mucl
  Replies (13) Good night (1358) Bad night (613)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.

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  (254): Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst. http://tfl.nu/n2od
  Replies (9) Good night (1076) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.

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  (219): My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle. http://tfl.nu/g4yj
  Replies (11) Good night (1582) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.

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  (949): It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process. http://tfl.nu/bbcc
  Replies (8) Good night (1073) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...

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  (682): You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos... http://tfl.nu/4ekg
  Replies (0) Good night (542) Bad night (198)

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