I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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