it wasn't lemon gatorade
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
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Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.