Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
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why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
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Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.