u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.