Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied