Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there

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  (443): party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there http://tfl.nu/5lco
  Replies (10) Good night (719) Bad night (3303)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.

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  (623): were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds. http://tfl.nu/6mgz
  Replies (41) Good night (4279) Bad night (783)
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  (949): View more from California

  you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."

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  (949): you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller." http://tfl.nu/aw6q
  Replies (19) Good night (6481) Bad night (844)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need to start having sex underwater more often.

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  (570): We need to start having sex underwater more often. http://tfl.nu/04ms
  Replies (19) Good night (5891) Bad night (700)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.

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  (616): I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me. http://tfl.nu/hmco
  Replies (59) Good night (10333) Bad night (905)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE

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  (904): He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE http://tfl.nu/khu1
  Replies (20) Good night (1150) Bad night (3614)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.

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  (816): he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard. http://tfl.nu/weqf
  Replies (42) Good night (6338) Bad night (1807)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.

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  (617): My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning. http://tfl.nu/kt95
  Replies (24) Good night (5452) Bad night (1565)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.

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  (817): 2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester. http://tfl.nu/1qgy
  Replies (5) Good night (2743) Bad night (944)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.

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  (407): you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations. http://tfl.nu/xedp
  Replies (15) Good night (2447) Bad night (1098)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead

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  (512): Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead http://tfl.nu/k2d6
  Replies (5) Good night (784) Bad night (469)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.

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  (843): Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now. http://tfl.nu/4hes
  Replies (3) Good night (399) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.

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  (616): We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that. http://tfl.nu/hsrb
  Replies (5) Good night (505) Bad night (1022)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.

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  (403): I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great. http://tfl.nu/f5oy
  Replies (3) Good night (841) Bad night (352)
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  (805): View more from California

  Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck

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  (805): Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck http://tfl.nu/n0xt
  Replies (4) Good night (541) Bad night (205)

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