I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
