I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
