Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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