just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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