I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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