I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
