My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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