sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
