They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
