What did we do last night that was yellow?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
