Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
