What did we do last night that was yellow?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
