its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
