dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
