Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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