I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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