very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
