I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
