1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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