Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
