i think my tv is drunk
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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