i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
