1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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