Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
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The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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