Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
