I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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