gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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