I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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