I will die if light touches me.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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