a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
