I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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