You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize