I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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