Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(863): View more from Florida

UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.

(863): View more from Florida

Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

At least you don't cum in color.

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(863): UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground. (863): Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine. (321): At least you don't cum in color. http://tfl.nu/1kue

Replies (15) Good night (2769) Bad night (936)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?

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(601): hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow? http://tfl.nu/vvua

Replies (124) Good night (6413) Bad night (2428)
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(607): View more from New York

i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.

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(607): i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady. http://tfl.nu/6072

Replies (40) Good night (1821) Bad night (5850)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card

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(832): What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card http://tfl.nu/62j9

Replies (44) Good night (1065) Bad night (4888)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.

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(919): Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk. http://tfl.nu/sxlu

Replies (11) Good night (1195) Bad night (5262)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm never eating chinese again.

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(215): yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night. (215): i'm never eating chinese again. http://tfl.nu/0tg8

Replies (11) Good night (870) Bad night (4442)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later

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(617): i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later http://tfl.nu/ptu9

Replies (9) Good night (2831) Bad night (1261)
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(916): View more from California

The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.

(1-916): View more from California

Try oodles of noodles this time.

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(916): The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang. (1-916): Try oodles of noodles this time. http://tfl.nu/ou73

Replies (8) Good night (2981) Bad night (628)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers

(847): View more from Illinois

I can't see you

(847): View more from Illinois

I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche

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(847): I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers (847): I can't see you (847): I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche http://tfl.nu/kp05

Replies (4) Good night (2623) Bad night (656)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.

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(502): I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high. http://tfl.nu/gsqh

Replies (8) Good night (1970) Bad night (714)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.

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(484): You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now. http://tfl.nu/l9he

Replies (4) Good night (657) Bad night (975)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.

(919): View more from North Carolina

Thats Poetry

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(610): Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is. (919): Thats Poetry http://tfl.nu/gxmw

Replies (7) Good night (900) Bad night (414)
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(503): View more from Oregon

i think i just asked a donut if it was ok

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(503): i think i just asked a donut if it was ok http://tfl.nu/mr7m

Replies (2) Good night (686) Bad night (319)
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(906): View more from Michigan

My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.

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(906): My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow. http://tfl.nu/cu71

Replies (3) Good night (618) Bad night (314)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.

(706): View more from Georgia

So you're drunk waiting for the bus.

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(770): Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life. (706): So you're drunk waiting for the bus. http://tfl.nu/6hov

Replies (0) Good night (766) Bad night (209)

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