physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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