Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.