Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(