Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My room smells like vodka and shame
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016