i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
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I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine