Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(239): View more from Florida

R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs

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(626): View more from California

Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.

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(734): View more from Michigan

so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it

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(281): View more from Texas

She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in

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(773): View more from Illinois

His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.

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(281): View more from Texas

I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.

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(813): View more from Florida

I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog

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