Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
