DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
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idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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