It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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