I'm going to jail i love you
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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