Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
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Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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